A TIME FOR TIDYING UP




Bin Man Dan removes the rockery

 all clear on the eastern front

 decline and fall

front slab ready for concrete



It's often said - somebody asked me once - have you ever seen an unattractive girl in a sports car? And when one leaves the City and dicards one's City suit, it is noticeable how interest declines from the opposite contradictory gender. Think then what it's like after 6 months on a building site. Open disdain. Expecting in the co-op queue to be spat upon any moment. Probably time I rang Louise for a haircut - if she'll have me. Then I shall walk with kings.

 

SNOW STOP PLAY



Final section of front slab ready for blinding.

I was more than a little amazed, when hacking up the concrete of the old slab, to find a rubber glove under the concrete. Since the concrete was laid in 1925, this means that rubber gloves were available at that time. Or so I thought. However, this week I found a modern water bottle top immediately under the slab, and am at my wits end for an explanation.

If I was American, I would deduce that God had in fact created the world 6 years ago, complete with our family histories, geology, American global supremacy and plastic bottle tops under concrete slabs. Rodents would be more rational.

The weather has hindered progress in the last three weeks. The latest date for completion is not before the child support agency catches up with the angel Gabriel.

FIRST SLAB CONCRETELY COMPLETED

Good progress here ...

Half term internment? Steely help from Felix

Shuttering and reinforcement completed
and approved by Bother District Council

Paul the pump man
He saved the day when the concrete started going off too early

The easy bit

The hard bit

Concrete supplied by William the Concreter of Hastings

7 cubic metres of concrete going off

PUMP PRIMING THE ECONOMY

The Environment Agency has embarked on a wetland habitat in the field between me and the sea. The nation's earthmoving equipment formerly deployed on motorway construction has arrived to create a number of lakes. It's a Marsian invasion. No Tern has been left unstoned (as the critic opined). Very nice too, and even before the machinery has moved on the birds seem to have moved in.

Suspicion only arises when you discover that all the soil being removed is being dumped in a hole which was made five years ago to get the material for the new sea defences. So all the dirt taken from the harbour two miles in our direction is being taken back again. It's obviously a colossal blunder and the wetland scheme is a cover-up. The footnote from the Environment Agency says that the lakes will not increase the risk of flooding. Help! The Agency's flood prediction record is 80% incorrect. And why are they filling up that hole again? Confidence is running low.

Or perhaps, when there was a run on the banks and the whole economy appeared in freefall, the message went out high and low - dig holes - and many of them - and then fill them up again. Its all for the birds. Don't worry about the money - we'll just print it.

It's great fun to watch, especially when a truck sinks into the bog. But I must be humble - not all schemes go to plan, and I have only a shovel.

LET THE DRAIN TAKE THE STRAIN

There is an element of fun in every job that must be done - including drains. Moreover, my grandfather was big in drains. His father had a ginger beer bottle business by the Thames. They diversified into clay pipes and were taken over by Doulton who forced them into bankruptcy. Somehow my grandfather and his brother ended up running an agency to sell spun concrete pipes made by Ellis Brothers. He patented a method of joining the pipes in freezing conditions and believed his fortune was made. That was in 1939. He spent the next 6 years travelling the country sorting out drainage issues for the MOD. Then he sold out to Redland and retired. He had a number of other business ventures and was quite a wealthy man when he died, but somewhere along the line all the money disappeared. It's not only money that goes down the drain. The reason that drains are laid to 1:40 is because this is the gradient that liquids and solids travel at the same speed thereby assisting each other's progress. Life was preferable before I knew this, but now I know it. And so do you.

DEMOLITION PICTURES

Phase one - demolition now complete - and this is what it looked like.

corrugated iron roof removed

down-cycling of shed

steady progress

how I spent the summer holidays

timber frame removed

front interior removed

front comes down

on site with the lippy ones

Shed completed

foundation work commenced

ENTER FRED STAGE LEFT ARMED WITH A SHOVEL

I feel like a builder. I have finished demolition, it's taken too long, it's been hard work, I have a cold - probably due to dust and depression. The majority thinking I am mad is weighing in the balance. A holiday is due. Happily we are off to British Columbia for three weeks to forget about everything.

On the up side, Fred has come to help. He is young and strong. We had fun making concrete from shingle which we washed in a barrow and mixed with sand, ballast and cement. We laid 32 concrete blocks on Friday morning, which did me in; but Fred cycled home 58 miles in the afternoon. I struggled to keep awake on the motorway content that we now have a meter kiosk for the temporary electricity supply (minus the roof).

Last week we burned all the old timber which took all day - a theraputic baptism of fire, but not very green.